I've Got You
by x snow-pony x
Summary: One-shot based on 'Chain Reaction', with the thoughts of the characters intertwined with the speech from the episode. Very Tracy/ Mike.


**A/N Been watching too much of my favourite 'Chain Reaction' scenes again, and I had an idea for doing the thoughts of the characters as the scenes happen. Hope you like it. :-)**

 **Thanks to WhimsicalMoon for beta reading this for me. :-)**

 **I do not own any of the speech. I only own what I've written in between.**

 **In this I have used speech from the episode, but I haven't put who's speaking. If you haven't seen the episode for a while, I would suggest watching it from 18:48, then when you get to the end of the scene jump to 20:02, and then watch until you get to the scene in the living room with the paper chain at 22:22, before you read this, so you know who says what. :-)**

 **Tracy POV**

OK. Here we go!

There's so much noise. I don't know where to look, who to help first. Please, just stop shouting, then I...

I can't breathe. What's happening? Why can't I get oxygen in?

Every sound is repeating itself again and again. Please, just stop.

Help me, please. I can't breathe, I don't know what's happening, just please help me.

And please stop shouting.

Mike's behind me. I can hear his voice.

Please help me, Mike.

"I can't... Breathe..."

My legs have given way.

I'm falling.

Someone's got me.

It's Mike.

He's holding me close, trying to uncrumple me so I can breathe properly.

I'm safe.

Mike's got me.

I'm safe.

* * *

 **Mike POV**

What on earth is going on?

The kids are shouting. Something's wrong. They're having trouble with their paper chain.

And everyone's staring at me.

"What on earth is going on in here, please?"

No one's answering, and they're all still staring at me.

"Someone, please..."

They're not staring at me. They're staring at Tracy.

She's falling.

Grab her!

"Oh my God."

I've got her. I've got her.

She can't breathe.

She's having a panic attack.

But I've got her.

* * *

 **Tracy POV**

I'm OK now. Well, I haven't told Mike what's going on yet, but I'm OK.

Mike's just come in. Time to apologise.

"Cup of tea, lovely?"

"I'm so sorry."

He's smiling. He's forgiven me.

"I don't know what's wrong with me."

I can't think if any other way to ask, and I want to know what happened.

"You've had a panic attack."

What?!

"You'll be OK in a few minutes. Just, try and calm yourself."

"A panic attack?"

No, I can't have, things aren't that bad.

"Tracy?"

His face is serious: he wants to know what's going on.

"Is everything all alright?"

Now the hard bit.

"I dunno."

Come on, you're meant to be showing him you're OK!

"I'm fine."

Worst lie ever. Add a smile and he may just believe it.

"Things are just piling up I guess."

Yeah right...

Right, stop. This is Mike you're talking to. He's not going to tell anybody anything you say or do, and he only wants to know himself so he can help you. Just tell him the truth.

"Cam's staying in New York."

Oh God. His face has just dropped. I should have kept quiet.

"Really?"

But he wants to know more, so he can help me. I suppose I'll have to tell him the whole story.

"For six months. I've never seen her so excited."

Obviously that job means so much to her, possibly even more than me.

And now Mike's worried.

"And how do you feel about it all?"

I can't tell him that. Just shrug, then you won't have to answer.

And now he's going to press.

"And Lily, coming back here?"

I can't shrug again. Think of an answer, quick!

"Oh, well, she's better off here than with me and Cam."

"I asked you how you felt about it all."

He's not going to give up until he knows how I feel. What do I say?

Tell him the truth.

"It doesn't matter how I feel."

Keep going. You're doing well.

"It's about the kids, they come first."

And now the last bit, so he doesn't think you're completely mad.

"Isn't that what you're always telling me?"

I'm so confused. Mike's looking at me in such a concerned way, even though I've just been trying to follow what he told me. I don't know what to do!

* * *

 **Mike POV**

Poor little mite. I never saw that coming. Right, tea, and then go back to the quiet room.

"Cup of tea, lovely?"

Give her a smile. If I keep giving her little smiles to reassure her, hopefully she'll relax, and then she'll open up more.

"I'm so sorry."

Why is she apologising? It wasn't her fault. Give another smile, reassure her that she's OK.

"I don't know what's wrong with me."

Poor thing. I thought she'd know, but obviously not.

"You've had a panic attack."

She looks shocked by that. Keep giving the smiles.

"You'll be OK in a few minutes. Just, try and calm yourself."

Another smile. She's doing really well.

"A panic attack?"

Poor thing. She looks so fed up. But I still need to know what's going on.

"Tracy?"

Lean forward slightly, try to show her it's serious, but don't scare her.

"Is everything all alright?"

I know that obviously everything's not all alright, but instead of asking what's wrong, it gives her an opportunity to choose what she tells me, as I haven't made an assumption.

"I dunno."

She's going to cry in a minute. Oh, poor little mite.

"I'm fine."

She's putting on a fake smile. She'll tell me in a minute. I'm not going to rush her: that won't help anybody.

"Things are just piling up I guess."

She's admitted something's wrong. Hopefully now she'll tell me the main problem, so I can help her.

"Cam's staying in New York."

Oh, poor mite. Poor, poor little mite. She was already feeling lonely. That will be horrible for her.

"Really?"

I don't want to push it, but I need to know more.

"For six months."

Poor thing.

"I've never seen her so excited."

Her face says it all. The sadness in that is just... Poor mite.

I don't want to push too much, but the more I know, the more I can help her.

"And how do you feel about it all?"

She obviously doesn't want to answer, judging by the shrug, but I need to know.

"And Lily, coming back here?"

"Oh, well, she's better if here than with me and Cam."

Another question dodged. I need to know how she feels.

"I asked you how you felt about it all."

I just hope I haven't pushed too far.

"It doesn't matter how I feel."

She really thinks that? Poor little mite...

"It's about the kids, they come first."

Not when she's hurting this much they don't.

"Isn't that what you're always telling me?"

Her face looks so confused. I guess I need to do some explaining...

* * *

 **Tracy POV**

I think Mike wants another chat. He's sitting next to me now, looking down at me.

"When people we love do things we don't expect, things we'd rather they didn't do, that can make us upset, angry."

No, Mike's got the wrong end of the stick.

"I'm not angry."

"No, no no no, I know, I know."

So if he doesn't think I'm angry, why did he mention it?

"But I can remember a young Tracy Beaker..."

That's why.

"...who, when she would get upset with people, would get very, very angry."

Yep! I remember that.

"Now, this grown up Tracy Beaker may not get so angry. Thank goodness for that, hey?"

Trust Mike to lighten the mood and make me feel better.

His face has gone serious now. Hope it's nothing bad...

"But perhaps, she still hasn't quite learnt how, to express it when, she is upset."

Oh, right. I get what he's getting at now.

"Talking, you mean?"

He's nodded. Good, I got it right.

"When someone loves you, you know _really_ loves you, you can tell them that you're upset with them you know."

I hadn't thought about that. I'd just wanted to make Cam happy.

"They won't go away."

And I've only just realised that as well.

Oh no, don't cry. Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry...

* * *

 **Mike POV**

I need to explain it to her properly. She's so confused about everything.

"When people we love do things we don't expect, things we'd rather they didn't do, that can make us upset, angry."

She's looked up. Oh, she probably thinks...

"I'm not angry."

I thought she might have thought that.

"No, no no no, I know, I know."

I know she's not angry. I just want to make a comparison.

"But I can remember a young Tracy Beaker who, when she would get upset with people, would get very, very angry."

There's a smile. Good, I need to cheer her up.

"Now, this grown up Tracy Beaker may not get so angry. Thank goodness for that, hey?"

She's nearly laughing. Thank God for that. I thought I'd messed up earlier, but she seems OK now.

"But perhaps, she still hasn't quite learned how, to express it when, she is upset."

I think she gets what I'm getting at now. I hope she does.

"Talking, you mean?"

She does. Good.

"When someone loves you, you know _really_ loves you, you can tell them that you're upset with them you know."

I don't think she'd thought about that. I think she was just trying to make everyone happy, like she always does.

"They won't go away."

And from her face she hadn't thought about that either. Oh, poor mite, she's going to cry. Just stay strong: you have to be there for her.

* * *

 **Tracy POV**

I can't stop the tears from coming.

But I don't want to cry in front of Mike.

What should I do?

He's given me a sympathetic look, showing he understands.

That means I can cry.

I can feel all the hurt and loneliness leaving me now, and it's a really nice feeling.

"Is growing up always this hard?"

I didn't mean to say that out loud, but I guess I have now.

I can feel Mike patting my arm. What's this all been like for him? It must be horrible.

"Only when you care about things so much."

What does he mean by that? Oh yeah, I get it...

No, Mike, don't lift your head. I like your head resting on mine: it makes me feel safe, and secure, and loved.

Mike's sensed that I don't like his head off mine, and he's put it back.

And now he's kissing my head.

I can hear his heartbeat too, and it's nice.

And now I can finally relax.

* * *

 **Mike POV**

Poor thing. I can see tears coming to her eyes. She's going to cry.

But she looks like she's trying not to.

Give her a sympathetic look, show her that you know it's hard.

She's crying.

Just remember, wrap your arms around her and relax: she'll feel a lot better if you're relaxed.

Poor little mite. Just relax, let her relax. Let her cry it out and let out the hurt. Just relax.

"Is growing up always this hard?"

What did she say? Oh, poor thing. She's always had a tough time of it.

"Only when you care about things so much."

That what got her into this in the first place: she cares too much.

And that's why the kids love her.

She's shaking her head, oh right, I moved my head. She obviously wants me to rest it on her head. It's probably a comfort to her, as it's another way to show her I'm there for her, and that I'm not going to leave.

I'll give her a little kiss, try and calm her down, and make her happy.

And now we can just relax.

I've got her.

She's safe.

And I think she now realises that.

 **A/N Hope you enjoyed it. Please review. :-)**


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